is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
