Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
