I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
