I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
