Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Swine flu is the new snow day.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
