i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
