Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
