she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
