i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
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You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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