why didn't you poke me back
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
