Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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