I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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