so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
