That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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