She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
my sisters under your porch take her home
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
