my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Boobs speak an international language.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize