but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
