How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
