The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
That accounts for only three of the penises
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize