Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
