So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This baby is an asshole
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Two words: nipple clamps
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