Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
