Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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