$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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