I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
