a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
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I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
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Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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