Kiss
Puke
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Randomize
