Your dad touched me again.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize