Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
