you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
