So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My cat gives me a boner
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Pants are for mortals
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
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