i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
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