i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize