Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize