Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Dignity is for republicans.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
