Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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