cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
It's shark week go big or go home
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize