Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
