Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
