Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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