If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
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