I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize