I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
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