If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
she peed on how many people?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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