You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
