I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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