I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize