I hate all girls vehemently.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
