i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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