he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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