I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
