how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
