After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
