i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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