I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
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Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
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You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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