I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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