google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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