just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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