I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
