She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I am one with the molecules
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize