My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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